how can you know?

She sits beside me, in the passenger seat of the car, and I’m forced to reminisce. A little more than a year ago, I had a choice to make – I could enter in to the chaos of her life, or look away. I knew she was on the brink of possibly disappearing into the care system. I wrestled with that choice. I had chosen to enter in countless times before in other similar relationships, and it always ended breaking my heart as circumstances seemed to always tear the relationship apart. In my heart, I knew what I had to do. I had to enter in with all my heart. No matter how this ended. And I knew God would pick up the broken pieces of my heart if this relationship was torn apart again.

She’s had a rough year. She’s learned a lot of hard lessons. But I’ve watched her grow better through it all rather than continue on her path towards a crime-filled life. She’s slowly making better choices and dreaming of the career she wants to pursue.

Today, she’s asking me questions, like she hasn’t for a while. But it’s different than it used to be. Rather than firing them at me before I barely have time to give a one answer sentence, she pauses and listens. She discusses. She tells me her point of view. When I mention reading the Bible, she asks where she should start.

In the midst of discussing why being gay or lesbian is wrong, she asks pleadingly, almost desperately, “How can you know God is real?” My heart breaks for her. How well I know the question – or do I? Because no matter how much I’ve wrestled with that question, there was something deep inside me that told me God exists – because I was taught it from birth. Yes, she’s been coming to church since she was little, but how can 2 hours of church a week stand against the rest of the world in which she lives? So I plead with God for her, to show her His reality to her in a strong way. She has so much potential. And I long for her to find Truth.

“I alone cannot change the world, but I can cast a stone across the waters to make many ripples.” – Mother Teresa